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Are you in a violent relationship?
How can I help my friend?
Abusive Relationships
Sexual Abuse
How can I help my friend?
BECOME INFORMED
Gather all the information you can about domestic violence. Contact programs in your area that assist battered women and their children. In this area, contact the Domestic/Sexual Assault Outreach Center (D/SAOC) 24-hour crisis line at (888)356-2006. The Center can provide safe shelter, advocacy and support, and a variety of other services.
Sometimes your own feelings about violence may make it difficult for you to confront the situation. Contact D/SAOC and talk to advocates about your concerns—they can be an excellent source of support for both you and your friend.
LEND A SYMPATHETIC EAR
Letting your friend know that you care and are willing to listen may be the best help you can offer. Don’t force the issue, but allow her to confide in you at her own pace. Keep your mind open and really listen to what she tells you. Never blame her for what is happening or underestimate her fear of potential danger. Remember that your friend must make her own decisions about her life. Focus on supporting her right to make her own choices.FOCUS ON HER STRENGTHS
Battered women live with emotional, psychological, economic, sexual and physical abuse. The abuser probably continually tells your friend that she is a bad woman, a bad wife and a bad mother. Without positive reinforcement from outside the home, she may begin to believe she can’t do anything right—that there really is something wrong with her. Give her the emotional support she needs to believe that she is a good person. Help her examine her strengths and skills. Emphasize that she deserves a life that is free from violence.GUIDE HER TO COMMUNITY SERVICE
When she asks for advice on what she should do, share the information you’ve gathered with her privately. Let her know she is not alone and that caring people are available to help her. Encourage her to seek the assistance of the advocates at D/SAOC. Assure her that any information she shares with advocates will be kept strictly confidential.Many battered women first seek the advice of marriage counselors, psychiatrists or members of the clergy. Not all helping professionals, however, are fully aware of the special circumstances of abused women. If the person she contacts first is not empathetic or helpful, she should be encouraged to find assistance elsewhere.